Memoir – Breakup Notes

I’ve got a couple of banker’s boxes that I’ve thrown anything I’ve written for the last twenty years into. There are lots of journals, a few lab notebooks from my days as a medical researcher, and envelopes and stickies with scribbled notes.

I’m paging through a journal now and find this. I’m not sure if I’m embarrassed or should laugh, or both. You decide. I was breaking up with a woman I’d seen for a couple of months, and, as is my wont, sketched out the things I wanted to say. It’s a Spockish/Sheldon move and not remotely romantic, something I address in my notes.

Use it as you will. Maybe it will help you on Saturday morning when you want to quit with someone. Maybe it will give you a great giggle, and we all know how much we need that. Maybe you’ll hang your head and wonder if you can ever date again.

My talking points:

  • [We are] coming from entirely different places.
  • Doing it ‘my way’ is not making us happy.
  • I’m going to concentrate on my business.
  • You say you want light, friendly, no expectations. Yet you are pouty and mad if I won’t commit to things 2 months out, and I don’t like being pressured to having to be romantic over the phone, and I don’t like being continually threatened with you dating other guys.
  • [This] doesn’t mean anyone is bad. Just two people tt aren’t a good match at this point.
  • [I close on the right side:] Why be with a guy tt you have to thoroughly train?

For what it’s worth, I used to talk about ‘Malinda’ a lot and, during these episodes, I was often told, loudly, with lots of hand wagging, to ‘just go marry that girl Malinda!’ I did, and we have twin girls now, and I am happy every day. I hope this woman also found what she wanted.


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